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MEETINGS
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Question:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers:
VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I
will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the
chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the
raod to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of
strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his
or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken
should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help
crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.
RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers.
Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the
need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an
advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with the chickens.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you see the plain
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends,
that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain
and simple as that.
PLATO:
For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX:
It was an historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant
market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to
align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its
overall
strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened
a
diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a
two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each
other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a
park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission , vision, and
core
values. This was conducive to the creation of a total business integration
solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more
successful.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross the road before you believe it?
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a
way
that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals
your underlying sexual insecurity.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black
man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
RONALD REAGAN:
I don't recall.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt
cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the
road.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of aggression and we were quite justified in
dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it.
SADDAM HUSSEIN #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed it, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having
their motives called into question.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place
anyway?"
THE POPE:
That is only for God to know.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that
the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
John Lennon:
" Imagine there's no chicken..."
Got one or two of your own? Just email me with it, and I'll post it here.
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